Wednesday, August 28, 2013


I grew up on being thankful. In whatever way it was, we gave thanks. We gave thanks to God for our dinners, for our healthy families, for staying safe. I learned "please" and "thank you" at a very young age, as most children should. As we get older, we lose the habits our parents raised us on. Sometimes we start to slip away from saying thanks, and we take things for granted. But what does it really mean to give thanks? Sure, I say thank you all the time. I say thank you to patients that come in for x rays, I say thank you to my coworkers who help me, I say thanks to total strangers for holding the door open for me. But really, what does it mean to say thanks? What does it mean to be grateful?

In my last post I talked about being a lovely girl. I think that this goes hand in hand with that. Being a beautiful person means you appreciate everything, whether it be big or small. You appreciate the smiles you're thrown, the frowns. You appreciate falling in love, and you appreciate the heartache that can come with it, because you learned from it. You learn what went wrong, and you fix it, so it never happens again. And one thing that you do, is you do not ever take anything for granted. Never. So many times have I learned the hard way that you don't realize what a good thing you have is until its gone, or not so easily accessible. This applies to so many things; church, family, friends, true loves. I don't want to live my life full of regret, because I didn't fully appreciate the family and friends I had around me that showed me love and support through my absolute worse time. And for that, I give them thanks. Thanks for sticking by my side, and for not giving up on me, ever.

Being thankful for life in itself can make you so much happier as well. It literally changes your entire outlook on life, (and kind of makes you feel like you're in a Disney movie because you're THAT happy, lets be real.) I have had so many wise thoughts lately about happiness and being grateful and giving thanks and of course as I go to write them down, I forget them all. I guess one of the main things I really want to stress is that changing your outlook can change your life. It really can, and for that I give thanks. I give thanks that I was able to save myself before it was too late. I give thanks that I'm so much happier within the last few days, than I've been in the last few months. You know why that happened, and so fast? Because I put my pedicured foot down. I said no to the negativity and I said no to being an unappreciative little brat. I have an amazing life. Not to brag or anything, but I really do, and if you think your life is hard, you should spend a day in the OR watching over patients on the table, or spend a day up on the Cardiology floor watching people fight for their hearts, and their lives. I can fully say that I have a greater appreciation and a greater love for people, for their heartaches and for their sorrows. I don't pity them, put I sympathize with them. I give thanks for these people, who are changing my life and not even knowing it.

I am so incredibly grateful for life, and for the lessons that I've learned. Everything can be a learning lesson. I learned that years ago (and my parents never let me forget it!) Being a grateful person doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you a pansy. It makes you incredible. I have so much endless respect for people who are truly grateful for life. Its the stories you hear about where the people have nothing, but are grateful for more than everything. Those are the life changing, heart warming stories that I love. And I want to be one of those people, that truly loves everything and is so grateful for what she has that it makes other people thankful too.

Thanks for reading!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Pretty is as pretty does.

What makes someone a beautiful person? Is it having long Kardashian hair, or having porcelain baby doll skin? Is it being incredibly flawless, stick thin, dressing well, or looking like Kate Hudson? Lately I've noticed that I've been receiving a lot of compliments lately on my looks. Not only have I been told I've turned into a gorgeous girl, but my parents have been told that a lot too lately. (Sorry for the egotistical comments, I mean I did win biggest ego in high school.) Nonetheless, these comments have made me think. I've never really thought of myself as the America's Next Top Model type. We all have our insecurities, right?  Receiving comments about my looks have been incredibly warm hearting, but they've made me think, what kind of person am I on the inside? To me, being a beautiful person isn't about your looks. I would much rather be a beautiful person on the inside than on the outside. I don't want to leave this earth having people think that I was just another pretty face. I would much rather be remembered as being a warm, kind hearted, loving and caring girl. Someone who was selfless, and who did as much for others as she could. I was raised by the means of serving others, its something that my church (LDS) has raised me on. Whether or not you're LDS, or even go to church, service is key. I mean, how awesome is it to help others? Courtney and I used to make cookies and brownies to people in our ward that were in our neighborhood for the heck of it, because it makes them happy, and in turn makes us happy to know we brightened somebody's day.

In my last blog post I wrote about a book I was reading titled "How to be lovely." It's a book on Audrey Hepburn and her life. I've never been a super huge Audrey girl, but I have seen Breakfast at Tiffany's, and I do know the sense of elegance and grace that she carried with her. Every respectable girl should try to be like Audrey. Wouldn't you just feel amazing to know that people thought so highly of you? That people thought about how graceful you were, and how much of a lovely girl you were. That's what I'm striving to be, to be the lovely, beautiful girl, on the inside and maybe the out, that people want to be acquainted with. I don't have the perfect past, and I won't have the perfect future, but I can sure try. Willpower, dignity, grace, understanding, all help one to know the power that they have to be who they want to be. My parents always raised Courtney and I to be beautiful girls, and not just by our good looks (thanks mom and dad, you guys rock.) I could not thank my parents enough for the life that they've given my sister and I. Not enough thanks in this world would be enough to let them know how much I fully understand and appreciate all that they've done for Court and I, but one way that I can thank them, is to be the beautiful girl that they've raised me to be. To find the good in others, to find the good in myself, to live and to love the best that I can and beyond. To be grateful for what I have, to appreciate the little things, to not sweat the small stuff. To be a hard worker, a little fighter, and to never give up. They've taught me how to hold my own, to keep my head held high, and to be a little princess. My parents raised me to be a beautiful girl, and I'm not going to let them down.


Friday, August 23, 2013

Growing up is hard to do.

Well, it is, right? I mean I'm not saying that its not fun too, because it is, its just hard or it can be. You have to pay bills, you have to go to school, I mean figuring out what you want to do in life is hard enough! Lucky for me I've known since I was 16, and I haven't regretted a single thing about it. Get a big kid job (which if you find the right one, you'll love it and it won't feel like work!) So many things can make growing up hard. First of all, people make growing up hard. Because sometimes people are just straight up meanie heads and want to rain on your parade. But you know what? Grab an umbrella because you aren't letting them. One thing that I've really noticed a lot lately is that people do not know how to take responsibility for their own actions. Yeah, I learned how to do that before I hit kindergarten so its a shame that some "adults" don't know how to do that. I learned from a young age that if you pull your sister's hair, mom and dad are gonna get mad. And if you push your sister in front of a truck when she's in a stroller, mom and dad are gonna get REALLY mad. (Sorry Court, I didn't mean to hate you back then.) Anyways, every action has a consequence. Especially in a relationship. Nothing good comes from lying or cheating, especially cheating, and I have no respect for people who think that it does. I could not care less what the excuse you have is, it is NOT okay and it never will be, and if you think it is, then you should probably swerve. I'm not trying to degrade or look down on anyone, everybody makes mistakes. But the best possible way to handle a situation like that, and to really grow up, is to be able to admit you're wrong. You will never go far in life if you don't know how to apologize, and how to sincerely mean it. Maturity is key.

Growing up isn't always a hard or bad thing though, don't get me wrong! It's such a beautiful thing to be able to live and to love life so much. We grow up, we fall in love, we fall out of love, we make mistakes, and sometimes we don't. Sometimes we get lucky enough to fall in love with our best friend, and sometimes we learn things the hard way, and that's okay too. Life isn't always easy, but it is 100% definitely worth it. I would take a broken heart any day if it made me a better person because of it.

One thing I'm really big on is life lessons, and I have my parents to thank for that. Actually I have my parents to thank for quite a lot. I believe that they raised me to be a really great girl. Sometimes I can be a little devil, and everybody knows that, but deep down I always try to have the best intentions. I know how to own up to my mistakes, to fix them, and how to swallow my pride. If I take any piece of advice that my dad taught me growing up (besides how to stomp on a milk carton and make it sound like a gunshot,) it would be to swallow your pride. You aren't always going to be right. In fact, most of the time you are going to be really wrong. And the best way to handle it, is to swallow your pride. Life will be so much easier once you learn how to forgive yourself and how to forgive others. My parents  turned EVERYTHING into a life lesson for Courtney and I, and I'm not just saying that. Literally everything was turned into a life lesson and I'm really grateful for it. I think that having that kind of outlook on everything made Courtney and I better girls, and it made us both who we are today. It makes the hard times easier to get through, and it makes the really great times that much better. Because things will always get better, they will. You have to believe it, you have to have faith, and they will.

Positivity is not always an easy thing, especially with so many negative connotations that have to do with just about everything. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not one who's always positive, but I've been working my absolute hardest to be. Positivity has a ripple affect. It's all in the attitude. When you're happy about life, everybody else around you seems to pick up on your sunshiny thoughts, and the world just seems to be a better place. Wouldn't we all like to live in a world like that?

I'm currently reading an Audrey Hepburn book titled "How to be lovely." I think that every girl who cares about her place in this world should read it. It's not just about how to be pretty, etc. Its about how to have grace, how to have elegance and class, and how to hold your own. And that's something that I really want to have. I personally want to be able to be an example to others, the way that my very best friend, Madison Meyer, has been to me. Now I won't go off ranting about Madi (although I have plenty to say about this sweet girl!) but she has been such an example of elegance, grace, and a darn good example of how to be a tough girl in this scary and hurtful world. I wouldn't have been able to get through the last few months without her to be honest. And that has been one of the biggest examples of a saving grace to me if I've ever seen one. And that's the kind of girl that I want to be, and who my parents raised me to be. I'm closer to where I was, but I still have a long ways to go, and that's perfectly okay.

Sometimes we lose track of ourselves in this big big world, but with our "saving graces" we can get back on track, and find ourselves. Growing up is hard to do. It really is. But with patience, love, and faith, we can have the lives that we've always dreamed of having, and have the lives that we deserve to have. Never settle.